Some Tales Are Too Much
by black-journal
Summary: What happened after Sirius escaped, without ever getting a chance to really talk to Remus? Sequel to Memories Are Too Cold though could be read alone
1. Chapter 1

Author: Black-journal  
Disclaimer: I own none of this  
Rating: T (just to be safe)  
Pairing: Sirius/Remus  
Summary: What happened after Sirius escaped, without ever getting a chance to really talk to Remus?

---

I never got a chance to fucking talk to him. Those damn kids just got in the way. Not that I blame them...it was Harry and Hermione that saved my life and believe me I'm thankful for it. But seeing that expression in Remus's eyes when he came into the room, I knew there was so much that we needed to talk about. And damn it, I thought we were going to get it. Catch Peter, turn him in, and then I'd be cleared. There'd be as much time for talking as we'd ever need. Hell, I think I wanted the talking more than I actually wanted my freedom. Especially talking to Remus.

Of course, clearly neither of us thought ahead to the fact that it was a full moon. I had long since stopped caring about it (though when we were in school, it was something that I could always have told you, how close to a full moon it was), but Remus should have known better. All the excitement, I suppose. For a minute, I thought that he was actually going to hurt those children, and then I was more concerned with avoiding the Dementors than anything else.

After the kids rescued me and sent me off on that beast Buckbeak, I flew as far as I could before I could tell by the hippogriffs movements that it was exhausted. We were by the coast and after I found a fairly isolated stretch, I let Buckbeak land. Finding a small cave (cave was a complimentary term for it...it was a hollow on a rock face), I curled up and slept.

I have no idea for how long I slept but when I woke up, I felt more refreshed than I had in years. Better than I had ever felt during my time since I escaped. Now everyone that mattered knew I was innocent. Remus knew. That was all that mattered. I couldn't stand for him to think so poorly of me, especially as he'd thought so for so long.

And it wasn't as if I'd given him a good parting memory. A drunken kiss. The man certainly deserved more than that, even from me. I should have known better. But hell, that's what alcohol is for...removing inhibition. I should have forced more on Remus. Then things might have gotten interesting.

At least until the morning after. Then maybe the friendship would be irreparably broken. And even I'm not so much of a fool as to trade a wonderful friendship for a drunken one-night stand. I like to think of myself as having slightly more of a moral code than that.

---

I have no idea how the owl found me. I didn't even know where I was. But the next morning, there was an owl standing about three inches from my face, staring down at me with a distinctly disinterested expression on its face. I had to laugh at that - the first time I'd laughed in who knows how long. The owl extended a leg and I removed the slip of parchment.

It was from him.

_I have no idea if this owl will find you. I hope you are safe. I'd write more but I fear interception. Just stay well and safe. Wormtail is still missing. All those who matter believe your story. One day you will be a free man and on that day I will again embrace you as a brother and friend. -Moony_

I couldn't help but smile, even as my stomach fell slightly at the phrase "as a brother and a friend". That was how Remus felt about me, and that was that. Hell, he probably didn't even remember that kiss. Or how much it meant to me. I did it drunk, but I had been wanting to do it for years. I just lacked the moment or courage to attempt it.

The owl was waiting there still, as if it expected some kind of reply. "Stupid bird, I have no ink or quill. Or parchment for that matter. Go away, leave me alone." I made a shooing motion with my hands and it took flight for a few instants before settling back down. Clearly, this owl was here to stay.

In that case, I needed a good reason to get rid of. I needed to get the means to write a letter back to Remus.

---

No doubt every one who knew me would scold me. I stole supplies from a local Muggle store in my dog form. That's a lot harder than I thought it would be. Being a huge black dog is fairly noticeable. Being a huge black dog with a pen in your mouth just looks absurd.

But eventually I did it, and made it back to my pathetic excuse of a cave. The parchment I had treasured for the days I had had it still lay in the back corner, away from the ravages of weather. I took it up, turned it over and began to scribble on it.

_All is fine here. Less than optimal living conditions but survivable. Would love to relocate if possible. Take care. - Padfoot_

The owl appeared more than eager to go on another trip and I was more than eager to get rid of her. I didn't know what kind of response to expect, I just wanted to reach out to someone, to have contact with another human being again.

Especially if that human being was Remus.

It was thoughts of him that sustained me over those few days. I had so many memories of him as a young man, each of them special to me in its own way. I had been careful to keep my obsession well-concealed. There was no need for anyone to know how I truly felt about the bookish werewolf we all lived with. How much I cherished every minute I spent with him, how I purposely did poorly in my classes in order to coerce some tutoring out of him. How during tutoring I would read right over his shoulder, something that I knew irritated him no end, but also so that I could smell him.

I knew it was an unhealthy addiction, but as long as I made no mention of it to anyone, then I could pretend that it didn't exist. That I didn't dream of him, that when I slept with all those pretty girls, it was him I thought of when I closed my eyes.

I think the Marauders might have understood. Well, they might have understood if I told them that I was gay. They'd mock me for a while, but they'd stay my friends. But I could never let them know that I fancied one of them. That might well have destroyed our friendship forever. So I stayed quiet.

I was awful at staying quiet. So I masked it by pulling all kinds of stunts. It was what everyone expected of me. They thought I was a joker and a prankster, so I gave out that image. And they all bought it.

But a little part of me died every time Remus scolded me for a particularly malicious prank. His opinion meant everything to me, but again, that wasn't something that I could just let everyone know. It was another secret.

I hated all those damn secrets.

But I hated him thinking I was a traitor and a murderer for thirteen years. I hated that far more.

It was the worst punishment anyone could ever have inflicted on me.

----

It was a different owl that attacked me one morning, about a week after I had sent the last owl. This was a big one, and one that seemed overly fond of pecking at my fingers as I attempted to remove the parchment. I wished that I had my wand so that I could hex the damn thing. But I had been without my wand for so long that the lack of it was hardly a hindrance to me.

I will admit it, my hands were trembling as I unrolled the parchment.

_Need for relocation understood. Meet me at the old place as soon as you can. Albus has made arrangements. Looking forward to seeing you again. -Moony_

There was no need for a response. I stuffed the parchment in my pocket and crawled out of my hole to go find Buckbeak's hole.

Buckbeak did not look thrilled to see me again. Then again, I had forced it to live here for at least a couple of weeks. I had lost track of time, but it certainly could not be less than that.

But what did it matter?

I was going to see Remus again.


	2. Chapter 2

Author: Black-journal  
Disclaimer: I own none of this  
Rating: T (just to be safe)  
Pairing: Sirius/Remus  
Summary: What happened after Sirius escaped, without ever getting a chance to really talk to Remus?

---

I realized the problem as soon as I made my way into the Shrieking Shack. Remus had no way of knowing when I was going to be here. It wasn't like him to miss an essential detail like that, and for a second, I thought that this was all some trap. At the thought, I immediately transformed back into my dog form. There was no chance taking risks when I didn't have to. 13 years in Azkaban did teach me a thing or two.

I'm not sure how long I was there - keeping track of time when you're a dog is pretty damn hard. Eventually, I heard footsteps, and I made sure I was concealed in my hiding place. Watching, I waited as the door opened, and I breathed a doggy sigh of relief as I saw Remus. I made my way out of the closet and transformed back into my body.

Remus looked initially alarmed at seeing me come out of nowhere, but a smile appeared on his face after a second. "You're as filthy as you were last time I saw you."

What kind of stupid comment was that? But it was completely like Remus. "Not so many chances to shower, you know. I'm sure your delicate sensibilities can stand my stink for a little while."

"I'm sure I'll survive." The smile faded for a second. "I can't stay here long, Sirius. I resigned after the year was out and I am supposed to be leaving in a few hours. We won't be able to meet here again."

I sighed. Somehow I wasn't surprised that fate was doing this. "Where are you going to go?"

Remus shrugged. "Anywhere that'll have me, I suppose. Getting harder and harder for werewolves to find employment these days. But I'm sure I'll find something...somewhere. Albus mentioned that he might be able to find some work for me, and I'll take whatever I can find." There was such a hopeless expression on his face that I just wanted to go over to him and hold him. Of course, I couldn't do anything of the sort.

But I wanted to. And that was enough. More or less. "You mentioned that Albus had made arrangements for me to live somewhere that wasn't a hole in the ground." A funny look appeared on Remus's face. "Wait...it IS better than a hole in the ground...right?"

Remus looked as if he were biting back laughter. "It's a cave..."

"Bloody hell, Remus!"

"Might I remind you, Sirius, that you're wanted by the whole wizarding world...and by the whole Muggle world? You're not going to be able to go and rent a flat somewhere."

I sighed. He did have a point. As usual. "Does it have a shower, at least?" I knew how ridiculous I sounded, but there is something to be said for a good, long, hot shower. Especially when one has been on the run for months. The dirt really does build up.

"Albus mentioned something about a stream..."

I raised an eyebrow. "A stream? Maybe it escaped your notice, but it's cold here. Really bloody cold. Do you have any idea how cold the water would be?"

"It looks like you have a choice to make...dashing good looks after cleaning or revolting before cleaning."

"Revolting?" I pretended to be hurt, but there was a smile on his face. I knew he didn't mean it.

"I mean that, you know."

Or maybe he did. "Well, if you were that concerned about my looks, you'd offer me a shower." That actually sounded like a really good idea.

"Right. I'll just pull one out of my back pocket."

Okay. Good idea. Maybe just a tad impractical.

"You do have a wand."

"So you want me to whip you up a shower?" Remus looked as though the idea were completely ludicrous. Whereas I saw it as only mildly so.

"If you're so concerned about my hygiene, I don't see why not."

Remus took out his wand and muttered a spell under his breath. Then he looked up at me and shook his head. "It's in the next room. Try not to take too long. This was supposed to be about us talking."

"Well, we could always talk in the shower." I couldn't help but flirt with him. It was something I had kept concealed for so long that I couldn't manage to do it very well anymore. "You're more than welcome to join me." I accompanied it with a lurid wink, hoping that he'd take it as a joke rather than the genuine offer that it was.

"Just hurry up."

It wasn't until I stepped into the shower and relaxed under wonderfully warm water that I realized that I had no clothes to change into. I certainly didn't want to go back to the filthy Azkaban rags. That kept me in the shower longer than I intended to, trying to figure out what to do. If I had a wand, I could charm some clothes onto my body. On that line of thought, I could always try to persuade Remus to do it for me.

But, frankly, I didn't trust my body to behave around Remus if I was naked. And I needed none of that kind of embarrassment.

"Have you drowned?" came an amused voice some time later.

"Oh yes...come and rescue me..." I replied, grinning.

The grin disappeared when Remus appeared. To his credit, he kept his eyes on my face. "No clothes?" he asked with a huge grin on his face.

"You realized?"

"Before I ever made you a shower."

Bastard. "So why'd you do it?"

"To see what you'd do."

"And how do you plan to fix it?"

"Why should I have to fix it?"

I had a mind to wipe that smile off his face, but I really wasn't sure how I could do that without thoroughly embarrassing myself. "Please, Moony, will you charm me some clothes?"

"What's in it for me?"

"Releasing me from my humiliation?"

"You forget that I might well enjoy that kind of thing."

This was decidedly not the Remus that I'd known all those years ago. He'd had 13 years to grow up and come out of his shell, and evidently he'd done that. Either that, or he was just having colossal amounts of fun at my expense. "Please, Remus, love of my life, kindly charm me some clothes before I hex you into next week."

"What gave you the idea that threats would do any good whatsoever? Besides, you don't have a wand." He stepped back from me and looked me up and down.

I had to fight very hard to control my body. Getting hard right now would just be too much for him to torment me with later. "Please, Remus. You said that you wanted to talk. I'm not going to talk to you until you charm me some clothes."

A wicked look appeared on his face. I hadn't known that he had that expression. It looked damn good on him. He took his wand out and flicked it once. I was dressed in a pink tutu.

For the record, I don't look very good like that.

I crossed my arms and scowled. It's one of my best expressions. "Remus Lupin, I'm warning you..."

"Haven't you learned that threats do you no good?"

I tried to stop scowling. But as a grown man in a tutu, that was harder than it sounded. "Please, Remus. I want to talk to you as well. So could you stop fooling around and give me some normal clothes? Please?" I wasn't above begging if I had to. Not to mention that it was getting harder to control myself. If Remus didn't hurry up and be a decent human being, he was going to regret it.

And so was I.

Thankfully, he seemed to have reached the same conclusion, flicked his wand again, and I found myself dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. That was good enough. "Thank you."

"You're most certainly welcome," said Remus. He then doubled over and burst into uncontrollable laughter. I wasn't inclined to join in with him.

"Can we just get around to talking?" This was not the Remus I used to know. I wasn't sure I liked this one.

It seemed as though Remus could sense something was wrong. He stopped laughing and smiled at me. With another flick of his wand, the shower disappeared behind me, and we went back into the other room, hopefully to talk.

I wanted to know what had made my Remus change so much over the years.


End file.
